


Focus

by Nantai



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Escorts, Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Brainwashing, Sass, Snark, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, because it's these two, let's just say the origin stories are similar enough, this sounds more depressing than it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 03:52:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17257073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nantai/pseuds/Nantai
Summary: Bucky Barnes, veteran and ex-assassin, is just trying to make some legal money for once. He is reformed after all!Tony Stark, billionaire and mob boss, really needs an escort who can double as security because Steve is a worrywart.Neither planned for secrets to come out and apologies to be made. And yet, here we are...





	Focus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eriot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eriot/gifts).



> Dear eriot, 
> 
> I hope you'll like this little story! I used the prompts Escort AU, jewelry (kind of), tattoos and Mafia AU. I might do one of the long ones in the future though, because I loved them too!
> 
> Happy new year to you and everybody else! :)

Bucky was 99.9% certain that this had been a bad idea.

Clint really wasn’t a bad guy, and when he said that his boss was looking to hire a new guy Bucky had accepted without too many questions. The idea of an escort service that provided both the traditional service but also security for the client was quite ingenious. All they wanted was proof that Bucky had experience with personal security.

Clint had assured him that the job was one-hundred percent legal and they treated their people good. Bucky’s savings were running low and after the shit show that had been the last five years he had sworn to stay on the right side of the law as much as he could.

But now? Now he was sitting in a lounge, that looked way out of his league, in a suit that he had last worn with _them_ and waiting for a client who was already fifteen minutes late. Bucky pulled at the lapels again, the suit somehow felt wrong.

Bucky’s eyes were drawn to the entrance when the doors opened to admit a good looking man in his mid-forties. His dark hair was styled smartly and his goatee looked much more refined than it had any right to do. He wore a neat black suit, with a black oxford and a red tie.

Bucky supposed it could be his client, the file didn’t have a picture, but he doubted that he would have that much luck.

To his surprise the desk clerk waved him over after he talked to the man. Bucky rose in one fluid motion that he hoped looked as suave as it felt and slowly walked over to the desk.

“James, this is your client for tonight,” the desk clerk said calmly. “Remember if, at any time, you feel uncomfortable you are allowed to leave. If anything happens that requires the presence of the police, call us immediately so we can call you a lawyer.”

Bucky nodded and turned to the handsome man next to him. “Hi, I’m James.” ‘James’ was easier, less personal.

“Tony.” The man shook his hand and smiled a bit uncertainly.  “So, shall we?”

Bucky felt somewhat reassured that Tony seemed to be just as nervous as he was. “Where are you taking me tonight?” he asked, pulling off the flirtatious drawl without a hitch. They stepped outside and walked to a car parked at the curb. Bucky hummed appreciatively when he saw the silver Audi R8.

“A connoisseur of cars?” Tony asked, opening the passenger door for him.

Bucky replied when Tony took his seat behind the wheel. “Only the fast ones. So, where are we going?”

Tony smiled a bit. “Tailor first, I love your suit, but if I make an appearance with a date whose suit doesn’t fit properly  I won’t hear the end of it from Pepper.”

Bucky blushed to his chagrin. “Sorry, the only alternative would have been my uniform.” Not that it still fit him either, but Tony didn’t need to know that.

Tony chuckled while he started the car. “Now that would have been fun to see. But don’t worry, we’ll have you outfitted in no time.”

A slightly uncomfortable silence settled over the car and finally Tony spoke up again. “I sounded a bit rude there, didn’t I? I’m sorry, it’s just that Pepper is really concerned over my public appearance and she is very specific about how my dates should look. At least she doesn’t care that I date both, because if she insisted on women I might go crazy, some function are just better to attend with a guy who doesn’t gush or rants about the women’s dresses the whole time and…”

“Tony,  calm down,” Bucky said, trying for a charming smile, but he wasn’t sure if he made it. “I admit I’m not exactly ecstatic to be outfitted by my client, but I of course don’t want to incur Miss Pepper’s wrath.”

Tony took a deep breath and shot him an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to… But yeah, you really don’t want Pepper against you.”

Bucky grinned and tried to change the topic. “So, that tailor of yours. What’s he like?”

Tony happily started talking about Mr. Happy Hogan who was apparently the most talented tailor in town and it was a shame that not more people knew about him. Just when the silence threatened to converge on them again they arrived in front of a small shop in Hell’s Kitchen. Bucky guessed that Mr. Hogan’s anonymity came partly from the fact that he had his business in one of the most gang riddled parts of the city.

Bucky entered the store behind Tony and took the small room in. Automatically he scanned the store for exits and threats, something so ingrained in him that he hadn’t been able to shed it even a year after…

“Happy! I’m glad you’re still around, I was afraid you’d be gone for the night already!” Tony called with a broad grin to the man in the back. “My friend James is about to encounter Pepper and I don’t think that suit of his will survive that.”

Bucky shuffled his feet uncomfortably. He felt very much out of place.

Mr. Hogan motioned for him to remove his jacket and carefully draped it over a chair, but he didn’t even look at it. Bucky had hoped they could just make it bigger or something.  “You’re lucky I always have something around for the Captain, I’ll have to let it out a bit and the shorten the jacket a tad, but the pants should fit alright, Mr. Stark.”

Bucky swallowed. His client was Mr. Stark? _The_ Tony Stark Steve spoke about? And apparently the tailor wanted to give him an entire new suit? Bucky felt more out of his depth with the minute.

Mr. Hogan went to the back and returned with a dark blue, pinstripe three piece suit that Bucky couldn’t pay for in any lifetime. But he took it and obediently went into the cabin. Before he could shrug on the vest Tony came in without knocking.

“Forgot a shirt, sorry,” he said with a quick smile. If his eyes lingered a bit on the way Bucky’s shirt stretched over his shoulders neither of them mentioned it.

Bucky took the proffered shirt with a short smile and a nod. He finished putting the suit on and felt…wrong. Admittedly it already fit better than his old one, but Bucky was still reminded too much of the suits he had to wear for _them_. At least Tony hadn’t said anything against him wearing his own shoes (which had steel-caps, old habits die hard).

When he stepped out of the cabin Tony whistled and winked at him. Mr. Hogan looked indifferent, but he gave him a sharp nod and got to work to pin the jacket in shape.

While they waited for Mr. Hogan to finish the adjustments Bucky had to force himself to stay still. He didn’t know what he should do. Tony in the meanwhile had studied the hats and he waved Bucky over after a moment.

“What do you think?” Tony put on an old fashioned fedora and Bucky had to laugh despite his growing uneasiness.

“I think now you look very 50’s gangster, doll,” he said with a grin lingering on his face and he was rewarded with a broad smile from Tony. It crinkled the corners of his eyes adorably and Bucky felt his smile turning real.

“Exactly the look I was going for,” Tony answered with a wink and looked at himself in the mirror. “I bet you’d rock it too.”

Bucky laughed. “My hair has an aversion against hats, sorry.” That was a flat out lie, but Bucky couldn’t just tell Tony that hats reminded him of _them_.

“Well, we can’t upset your hair, can we?” Tony asked with a quick grin.

Bucky smiled, but he didn’t know what to say to that. It had been some time since he last actively flirted with a guy.

“Are those tattoos hiding under this exquisite shirt?” Tony asked suddenly, turning around fully.

Bucky reflexively pulled down the shirt sleeve a bit further. “Yeah.” He hid his wince at the tone of his voice, it was definitely on the wrong side of frosty.

Tony looked up at him startled. “Sorry, I don’t judge, I have some of my own.”

“They’re private,” Bucky said quietly, trying to banish the harshness of his words. He regretted snapping at the man who had been nothing but nice so far.

“I understand,” Tony nodded, but his eyes lingered on Bucky’s arm. “I got mine to cover up some nasty scars.”

Bucky nodded too but was saved from answering by Mr. Hogan who returned with the adjusted jacket. When Bucky shrugged it on he felt marginally more comfortable, since this time his shoulders had actual space to move.  He noted that there was more than enough space over the chest to wear a shoulder holster and he wondered what kind of man the Captain was.

“Do you have cufflinks?” Mr. Hogan asked professionally polite and Bucky produced the ones he had worn before on his own shirt.

The small red stars lay in his hand innocently. Surrounded by the gunmetal grey ring they looked inconspicuous enough. But anyone who knew would recognize the symbol immediately.

“Nice,” Tony whistled. “Those can stay. Your tie too, it fits mine.”

Bucky smiled uncertainly at the man.

“I suppose you’re all set then,” Tony said and turned to Mr. Hogan. “Just put it on my tab together with the hat, I’ll pay at the end of the month as always.”

“Yes, Mr. Stark,” Mr. Hogan answered with a genuine smile, the first real expression Bucky had seen on the man’s face. “Have a nice evening Mr. Stark. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Happy,” Tony said and left the store with a swagger.

“Be good to him,” Mr. Hogan said just when Bucky was about to follow Tony out. “If you aren’t you’ll have more trouble on your hands than you can handle.”

Bucky nodded, if only because he had no interest in explaining that he was just an escort, not Tony’s actual date. Bad enough that the man had just paid for a really fine suit that Bucky would probably only wear once. No need to tell his tailor that Tony had paid for the company as well.

“Happy give you the shovel talk?” Tony asked with a forced grin when Bucky climbed into the car.

“Yeah,” Bucky answered easily. “Don’t worry, I didn’t say anything to him about the situation.”

Tony visibly relaxed. “Thank you. If you don’t mind, if anyone asks at the gala you’re my date too. I just…”

“I understand,” Bucky said quickly. When he had started this job (yesterday) he had been coached on what most clients expected and what was okay and what wasn’t.

Tony smiled. “Thanks. So, the gala. It’s the Christmas gala for the upper ten thousand of New York. There will be a lot of brown-nosing and gossiping going on. My head of security is pretty thorough when it comes to his job. The only way I could convince him to leave off the security detail was hiring someone who’s good looking and can kick ass.”

Bucky nodded, grinning a bit. “They informed me that I would take on some security duties tonight.”

“I guess that was the comment with the police?” Tony asked jokingly.

“Yeah, technically both things apply,” Bucky replied. “So, I’m sad to say, you’re not allowed to take me as security for shady deals or something.”

“Ah, don’t worry,” Tony said, laughing. “That’s what I got the Captain for. Well, that and nagging me about my disregard for my personal safety. He’s a worrywart.”

Bucky grinned. “He’ll have his reasons I guess.” He winked at Tony who stuck his tongue out at him.

They arrived a bit late to the gala, but Tony explained that he didn’t really care for being photographed from all sides at all moments while he was walking inside and Bucky sympathized. The journalists were always the worst at these kinds of event. With _them_ he often snuck in from the back, so nobody would have any photo of him, but those were other times.

The first people Tony greeted were two terrifyingly beautiful redheads, both in stilettos and stunning dresses but apparently each other’s dates. While Bucky was still sweeping them for any kinds of danger he noticed a little tattoo on the left woman’s ankle. A spider. To be precise a Black Widow. There was only one woman with that tattoo in that location, and she knew him.

Looking up into Natasha’s eyes he saw the steel-cold recognition.

“Tell me Tony, who is your handsome date?” Natasha asked sweetly and Bucky tried not to swallow too obviously.

“Oh, where are my manners!” Tony exclaimed. “I’m sorry, James. James, these are Pepper Potts and Natasha Romanova. Ladies, this is James, my lovely date for the evening.”

Bucky bowed over Pepper’s proffered hand and was suddenly very glad that he hadn’t fought Tony’s offer. She looked at him calculatingly and a lesser man would have started sweating.

“So, how much did you pay him to say, that you’re his date and not his client?” Miss Potts asked in the same suspiciously sweet tone Natasha had used while Bucky greeted the latter.

Tony’s smile became forced. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Pep.”

“I could have easily gotten you a date, you know,” Miss Potts said with a small smile that looked a bit hurt.

“Ma’am, I’m his security for the evening,” Bucky interjected smoothly. “Apparently there are some concerns about the general safety of the event. After all you got your own security personnel too.”

Natasha glared at him. “At least I’m not paid to say I’m a date.”

Bucky only shrugged and smiled politely. “I’m not either.”

“Tony, can I talk to you for a moment,” Miss Potts said suddenly and pulled Tony to a table in the corner of the room. Natasha took that opportunity to step closer.

“What are you doing here, солдат?” she hissed through unmoving lips.

“I’m not working for them anymore, haven’t for over a year actually,” Bucky answered quietly. “I’m really just security tonight.”

“How’d you get the job?” Natasha asked, her eyes searching his face.

“Friend of mine got it for me, he works there too,” Bucky answered honestly. “Look, I’m just trying to make some legal money, I don’t want any problems because of my past tonight. I _promise_ I don’t work for them anymore.”

“Hydra doesn’t let anybody leave,” Natasha breathed disbelievingly.

“Neither does Leviathan,” Bucky replied and looked at her, willing her to believe him.

“Touché, but if you try to hurt anybody here…”

“I won’t,” Bucky didn’t let her finish. “That’s not me anymore.”

Natasha nodded and stepped back from him when Tony and Miss Potts returned. Tony shot Bucky a questioning look to which he just shrugged and smiled.

Bucky’d be lying if he said that he didn’t want to know why the Black Widow was the security detail of a friend of Tony Stark, but he didn’t dare ask. Bucky wondered whether she was actually working for Miss Potts or if she took the job as a cover for something more shady.

Before long Tony was on the move again, steadily making his way towards the bar at the other end of the room while he pretended to socialize. Bucky admired the stealth of Tony’s slow advance towards the stronger alcohol. After they had been stopped for the third time by a pompous investor who wanted to know when Stark Industries would start producing weapons again Bucky began to understand.

He stepped a bit closer to Tony and leaned down to whisper into his ear. “If you want me to get you to the bar faster, just say so.”

Tony blushed and send Bucky a nearly-not-fake smirk. “How could I say no to that? If you’ll excuse me, Senator Stern, I’m afraid I’ll have to leave you for the moment.”

Senator Stern frowned, but plastered on an indulgent smile. “Of course, Mr. Stark. Ah, to be young again…” He turned away with a wink and Bucky very nearly vomited when he finally realized why he recognized the man. _Them_. Still.

“You alright there, Jim? I don’t like him either, but you look like you saw a ghost,” Tony whispered, standing on his tiptoes to reach Bucky’s ear.

“I just recognized him from somewhere, that’s all,” Bucky tried to reassure Tony. “Let’s go, doll. I’m parched.”

Tony laughed and slipped back into the role of the billionaire who had no concerns beyond business, fancy alcohol and sex. “Of course, dear.”

Bucky winked at Tony and took his left hand in his right to pull him along through the crowd. Once they reached the side of the room Bucky slowed down to let Tony catch up with him and put his arm around the smaller man’s shoulder.

“You, James, are a gift to mankind,” Tony said a little out of breath.

Bucky laughed. “How’s that, doll?”

“You survived Happy’s, Pepper’s _and_ Natasha’s inspection, you saved me from Stern and you’re a hot piece of ass, what more could I ask for?” Tony asked with an exaggerated leer.

“I can think of a few things,” Bucky teased him, but he pulled Tony closer at the same time. He was enjoying this way too much, the man was just a client!

Before Tony could reply a black man in an immaculate suit materialized before them, sunglasses firmly lodged on his nose even though they were inside. “Stark, fancy meeting you here.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Not now, Fury. Can’t you see I’m busy?” He plastered himself closer against Bucky’s side and fluttered his eyelashes.

Fury gave Bucky a once over that spoke of how little the man thought of him. Not that Bucky cared, not anymore.

“So you have to pay people to date you now, Stark?”

Tony flinched nearly imperceptibly. “Can’t I buy my boyfriend a nice suit without you being nasty, Captain?”

Bucky startled. This was the Captain Tony spoke about? Well, the stature would probably fit, but somehow Bucky still doubted it.

“ _Former_ Captain, Stark, I’m only here because the Commissioner invited me,” Fury told Stark coldly. “And I better see you in your office on Monday, I will not tolerate being told off once again.” With that the man turned and vanished into the crowd again.

Tony sagged against Bucky for a moment but straightened himself quickly. “So, we were on a quest for booze.”

Now it was Tony, leading a bemused Bucky quickly to the bar where he ordered a whiskey, neat and a vodka, also neat. (Another habit that was hard to break.)

“Sorry,” Tony said, gesturing for a refill of his whiskey and Bucky’s vodka. “I didn’t expect Fury to corner us like that.”

Bucky asked for a club soda along with the vodka  before he turned back to Tony. “Who is he?”

“Former right hand man of Police Commissioner Pierce, always trying to convince me to finance the police more, build them better equipment and so on, like my father did.” Tony downed the second whiskey, but before he could order another refill Bucky put his hand on Tony’s arm.

“Probably better if you stay soberer with the likes of him around,” Bucky said quietly, catching Tony’s eyes and holding them with his own. They were very beautiful eyes. Enough of that Barnes, he is a client!

“I hate that you’re right,” Tony said with a bitter smile.

“So, how much longer do we have to survive in the shark tank?” Bucky asked with an flirtatious wink.

“Too long, you’ll be the death of me first,” Tony answered, his voice tinged with playful teasing. “Maybe we can dance to pass the time?”

Bucky stood up immediately, drinking the rest of his water. “Might I ask for this dance, doll?”

Tony grinned broadly at him and took his hand daintily. “With pleasure, my good sir!”

They danced for what felt like an eternity, but in reality not even an hour had passed when they returned to the bar. Tony had turned out to be a very talented dancer and they switched lead multiple times, all the while bickering about the music and the other dancers. When they sat down on the chairs Bucky was out of breath and he couldn’t remember the last time he had had this much fun just dancing.

“Hey, if that isn’t my favorite Russian!” someone suddenly called and Bucky swallowed the sigh that threatened to escape him at the greeting.

“Birdbrain!” Bucky exclaimed, just to tease and annoy Clint. Turning around he found the blond hanging off the arm of a police Captain in full regalia, Clint himself wearing a nicely fitting black suit that looked purple if the light hit the fabric just so.

“Who did they pair you up with?” Clint asked excitedly, neglecting to introduce the man at his side.

“Me, Barton, and I’m not entirely sure if you didn’t set it up now,” Tony turned to them and pushed the vodka in Bucky’s hands without looking. “I didn’t know that you and James are friends.”

Bucky wondered how Clint knew Tony, maybe from the escort service?

Clint’s eyebrow twitched, but he recovered quickly. “He’s the only one at the range who hits the target every time he shoots, of course I’m friends with him!”

“Mr. Stark, it’s good to see you again,” the police Captain said politely, stretching out his hand. “I trust the business has been well?”

Tony shook his hand, easily transferring his drink into his left hand. “As always, Captain, I would say the same to you, but of course I don’t want the crime rates to go up anymore than the next person.”

Bucky nearly frowned at Tony’s words. He had heard the man lie a few times this evening and now he was lying to a police captain about crime rates? Strange.

“So you are the James Clint keeps talking about,” the police Captain said calmly, his expression belying no emotion whatsoever. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Captain Phil Coulson.”

Bucky shook his hand, finally able to identify the man as Clint’s favorite regular. “Likewise, Captain. I heard a lot about you.”

The man seemed surprised for a second, but his face smoothed out just as fast. “I hope only good things?”

“Of course,” Bucky replied with an easy smile. If one could call Clint’s major, apparently unrequited crush a good thing.

“Tony, can I steal James for a minute?” Clint asked into the silence. “I promise I’ll bring him back in one piece.“

Tony nodded. “I’m sure I’m safe enough with Coulson, go gossiping.”

Bucky send Tony a quick reassuring smile, that was returned with an almost imperceptible nod. Then he followed Clint out a side door and down a corridor into a bigger supply closet.

“Is there a reason why were hiding in a supply closet like horny teenagers?” Bucky asked, but he didn’t dare raise his voice above a whisper.

“Are you crazy man?” Clint asked urgently, grabbing Bucky’s arm and revealing the cufflinks Bucky was wearing. “D’you know what these mean? You don’ wanna be caught up in that shit, believe me!”

“I know,” Bucky answered calmly, wrenching his arm out of Clint’s grip.

“I don’t think you do, because I don’t remember you being suicidal, Barnes,” Clint hissed. “The man those stars belong to…he’s nobody to be trifled with!”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t or you wouldn’-“

Clint stopped abruptly and looked down on the tattooed arm Bucky had revealed while Clint was berating him.

“You-“ the sudden fear in Clint’s eyes made Bucky regret his decision, but he had thought Clint had known. “ You are the Winter Soldier? The Fist of Hydra?”

“Not anymore,” Bucky replied quietly, avoiding eye contact by rolling his shirt sleeve down again. “I left over a year ago.”

Clint opened his mouth multiple times just to close it again. “I’ve known you for six months!”

Bucky sighed. “I’d thought you figured it out. Thought that’s why you looked so nervous to approach me after you saw me spar with Steve.”

“Nah, I just didn’t know you knew the Captain,” Clint said, distractedly. Then he clapped his hand on his mouth. “Aw, mouth, no.”

“The Captain? Tony was talking to Mr. Hogan about a Captain,” Bucky stepped closer to Clint. “I thought they meant your guy? And how do you know Tony?”

Clint looked scared out of his wits, his hand still on his mouth he took a step back. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why do I always fuck up?” Clint whispered, curling together. “I’m so sorry, Bucky, I can’t tell you. Fuck, they’ll kill me. Please don’t kill me.”

“Clint, hey, I won’t hurt you,” Bucky whispered, alarmed at his friend’s sudden change. He tried to reach for Clint but the man flinched and stepped further back towards the door.

Said door suddenly swung open, the Black Widow dramatically framed by the light from the hall. Clint swiveled around and pulled a gun out of his jacket before he seemed to register who he saw. Bucky waited with a bated breath. If Tony knew Natasha and Clint, they probably knew each other too. But why?

“Clint, calm down, it’s me!” Natasha said quietly, stepping into the small room and closing the door behind her.  Bucky started to feel a bit claustrophobic.

“I’m so sorry, Tasha, I-“ Clint was cut off by her hand on his wrist, gently guiding it down so the gun wasn’t pointed at her heart anymore.

“It’s okay, Clint, whatever happened. We’re the good kind of family, remember?” Natasha said firmly, putting a hand on Clint’s cheek. “Take a deep breath and tell me what he did.”

Bucky ground his teeth together but remained quiet, she wouldn’t be inclined to believe him anyway. His brain worked faster than ever though. Steve was the Captain, according to Clint, Tony knew Steve. Steve had said he was teaching Tony Stark boxing as an outlet for nervous energy and self-defense. But why would Mr. Hogan always have a suit for the Captain, Steve, laying around? Steve didn’t even like black tie-events and he always said that he was glad to have left that behind when he left the Army.

Reality called him back into its’ harsh arms when Natasha stepped around Clint towards him.

“How can you not know who the Captain is? You fought him more than once!” Natasha asked, accusation heavy in her voice.

“When?” Bucky swallowed heavily. He would have recognized Steve, wouldn’t he?

“Shortly before you say you left,” Natasha said, her eyes narrowing. “You put him into the ICU for a week.”

**o0o**

_"Steve? What happened to your face?” Yasha, no, Bucky, asked with concern._

_Steve waved his worry away. “You know me, got up into the face of the wrong guy.”_

**o0o**

“No, it’s-“ Bucky wanted to say that it would be impossible. But he couldn’t. To this day he didn’t know what kinds of drugs they had him on, but he knew they messed with his memory badly. In the first week after Steve had found him and dragged him home, he had forgotten Steve’s name and face more often than he liked to admit.

“You really didn’t know?” Natasha asked, surprise leaking into her voice.

“I barely knew my own name some days,” Bucky whispered, horrified of what he did to his best friend. “But why would I fight him? _They_ aren’t exactly the people he’s around often.”

Natasha snorted. “You’d be surprised.”

Bucky stepped back until he could lean against the wall. He buried his face in his hands and tried the breathing technique Steve’s friend had taught him. But his mind wouldn’t stop flashing back to the horrible feeling of soft flesh under his knuckles and Steve’s face when he opened his door in that ratty apartment in Hell’s Kitchen. He had to get out, get out, _get out_ …

“Bucky, Buck! Come on, open your hand,” someone was talking to him, someone was clawing at his hand. Why were they clawing at his hand? “Bucky, please let go. You’re scaring me. We talked about this.”

“What is happening here?” someone else asked and Bucky felt a jolt when he recognized Tony’s voice.

“Sorry, Mr. Stark, my friend seems to have had a bit much alcohol,” Steve (Why was Steve here?) said hurriedly.

“James, are you alright?” Suddenly Tony was right in front of him, reaching out to touch him.

He flinched back violently, hitting his elbow on the wall and automatically opening his hand when the prickling sensation shot into his fingers. He looked down at his hand which was blood-red. Why was it red?

“Very good, Bucky,” Steve said soothingly, turning to Natasha. “Get him something to stop the bleeding.”

“What are you doing here Stevie?” he finally asked, his voice hoarse.

“You know him?” Tony asked sharply. “And why do you call him Bucky? I thought you said your best friend…” Tony trailed off and turned to look at him again.

Before either of them could say anything Natasha returned with a first aid kit and told Tony to make space.

“I’m going to wrap up your hand now, okay, Yasha?” she asked quietly.

Yasha…no, that was wrong. “Bucky. I’m Bucky.” He looked down at his wrist where the sentence was written on his skin permanently. Now Bucky realized why he was bleeding. One of his cufflinks was embedded in the flesh of his hand. “Fuck,” Bucky said eloquently.

“Quite,” the Widow commented idly. “Would you pull that out? Pepper would kill me if I get blood under my nails.”

Bucky carefully grabbed the thing and pulled. “So, you and Miss Potts?”

“Problem?” Natasha asked sharply, but she didn’t look up from his hand.

Bucky snorted. “D’you think Steve’d be friends with me if I had one?”

Natasha grinned. “I think Steve would insist that you have a heart of gold even if you’re an ice-cold killer.”

“Tasha,” Steve admonished, his patented disapproving frown on his face.

The Widow only shrugged. “Don’t act like it isn’t the truth.”

“Do either of you mind telling me what is going on?” Tony asked, displeasure and anger clear on his face.

“I was the Winter Soldier until Steve hauled my ass out of Hydra’s tentacles about a year ago,” Bucky said before Steve could give the indignant answer that was clearly at the tip of his tongue. “I know Tasha from back then, Clint saw my cufflinks and made the connection. He panicked. Tasha told me I had fought Steve as the Captain before. I just had no idea who the Captain was supposed to be.”

Sudden understanding dawned on Tony’s face. “This is a fucking mess.”

“Language, Tony,” Steve admonished him tightly. Knowing the punk he just wanted to piss off Tony for…whatever. “And I don’t think this is the best place for explanations.”

“True, but we can’t just take him home right now. It’s too early yet,” Natasha said, tying of the bandage on Bucky’s hand. “You’ll have to socialize some more. The only problem is that Pierce is here and might recognize Bucky.”

“Fuck,” Tony said with feeling. “Any ideas?”

“Well, he can’t do anything about me while we’re in public,” Bucky said, picking himself up from the ground. “He might make some unpleasant comments, maybe he’ll try to send someone after us. But I wasn’t their favored assassin for nothing.”

Tony looked at him coldly. “You’re quite open all of the sudden, _James_.”

Bucky shrugged, hiding his wince at the tone. “Cat is out of the bag and you don’t seem too horrified. Plus you’re friends with the Widow.”

Steve pushed himself away from the door jamb he had been leaning on. “Bucky is right, Pierce won’t make a move in front of all these people. I guess we can risk it.”

“Alright,” Tony said tightly. “But we will be talking about this _tonight_.”

* * *

Tony suspected that getting drunk on a gala half-filled with Hydra and other non-friends was probably a bad idea. But he admitted to himself the he had never been good at dealing with things in healthy ways.

He didn’t even know why he was so upset that Ja- Bucky lied to him. It wasn’t as if anyone Tony had paid for their company had ever been fully honest with him. That wasn’t their job after all. But somehow…

Tony sighed and downed another whiskey. He remembered how earlier in the evening James, no, Bucky had laid his hand on Tony’s arm to stop him from drinking more.

Scoffing Tony tried to ignore the fluttery feeling that rose at the memory. Whiskey really felt like love if you concentrated enough.

“Tony, how much did you have?” Pepper materialized at his side. She had that talent. It was creepy. And useful.

“Why does it feel so bad?” Tony asked, cutting a look over Pepper’s shoulder to where Bucky was standing with Steve, Clint and Phil. Those lovely ice-blue eyes were focused on him. Damn.

“Oh Tony,” Pepper sighed softly and settled down on the chair next to his. “This has to be a record for you.”

Tony looked at her in confusion. “I’m pretty certain I’ve drank more in less time than this.” He tried to motion the bartender for more, but she just shook her head at him.

“Tony, look at me,” Pepper ordered. “I’m not talking about the alcohol, I’m talking about Barnes.”

Tony frowned, he knew his brain was going slower, but that sentence really didn’t make any sense. “I’m also certain that people have lied to me more in less time than him.”

Pepper’s lips thinned into a narrow line. “Anthony Edward Stark will you pull your brilliant head out of your ass? You like him!”

Tony blinked at Pepper. “You never use my full name.”

Pepper tapped the fingers of her left hand against the bar top, frowning at him. “Are you really so deeply into denial that I need to spell it out for you? You have a crush on Barnes and now you’re disappointed he isn’t just some hot guy flirting for money!”

Tony looked down into his glass desperately. “It’s not like that, Pep.”

“Really? Then why does Barnes look like a kicked puppy every time he looks at you? And vice versa,” Pepper hissed, leaning forward. “Either we get going so you can sort this out in the relative peace of headquarters or somebody will pick up on this and use it against either of you!”

Tony swallowed heavily. He sometimes forgot why exactly he had made Pepper CEO and co-leader. She could be positively frightening and Tony was nearly certain that she had no _big_ problem going over corpses to reach her goal. Mostly she’d be pissed that she got blood on her heels.

“Fine, get the crew together and we’ll head out,” Tony relented, standing up. When had the room gone so spinny? Was that even a word?

“Cap will drive you,” Pepper said with a finality that brooked no argument.

Tony swallowed. That would be fun. Nearly as much fun as being held for ransom. Only he knew how to deal with that. The pleasures of being Howard Stark’s beloved son. Ha.

“Tony? How much did you have?” Natasha appeared at his side.

“Less than usual when he’s pining,” Pepper answered for him. “Let’s get moving.”

Tony followed the steady hand at the small of his back out to the car. When he settled down he had to take a deep breath to keep from throwing up. He really wasn’t used to these amounts of alcohol anymore. Which normally was a good thing.

“Stark, if you need to vomit, there is a bag on the dashboard,” Cap said calmly and Tony nodded gratefully.

“Should be alright, just get me out of here,” Tony said quietly, leaning back and closing his eyes. Steve drove calmly and that kept his nausea at a minimum.

“You know Bucky didn’t want to be Hydra, right?” Steve asked finally after long minutes of silence.

Tony scoffed. “Doesn’t matter, he’s the Winter Soldier. He killed my parents for them.”

Creaking leather told Tony that Steve’s grip on the steering wheel had tightened. “You should have seen him, after…after I pulled him out.”

Tony scoffed again. “What? Was he all remorseful?”

“No,” Steve hesitated. “He would wake up from nightmares with a jaw so tight I was afraid he’d break it one day. He didn’t know his own name and asked me for orders when I came into his room. He once accidentally broke a plate when I startled him – his reaction was to cower down and bite into his fist. You know what that means.”

Tony swallowed. Even his alcohol scrambled brain could make sense of that. “What are you saying? That I should forgive him just like that?”

“No, but you should give him a chance to make amends,” Steve said, stopping the car. Tony opened his eyes to their garage.

“That what you did? We both know he brought you closer to death than even the other side in Iraq,” Tony left the car and he would never admit to being glad about Steve’s arm around his shoulder.

Steve sighed heavily. “It’s different for me. I knew him from childhood on, we served together. I saw him slide and I did nothing. I blamed myself more than him.”

“Stupid, it was his decision to join Hydra,” Tony mumbled, leaning against the elevator wall. His eyes closed again.

“When we returned…” Steve trailed off. “You can’t imagine the way it felt to return.”

Tony snorted. “Nope. But I know how it feels to come out of three months of capture. You know, Hydra’s capture after the Winter Soldier murdered my fucking family and they kidnapped me in front of the morgue!” He may have yelled the last part. He wasn’t certain. He was so fucking tired, he wanted a drink and some schematics to work on. Maybe a heist to plan.

Tony could practically hear Steve’s eye roll. “So you should know quite well how Bucky was treated.”

That shut Tony up long enough for them to arrive on the main floor of the HQ. He stepped out of the elevator, already steering over to the bar at the far side of the room.

“Sir, you estimated blood alcohol is too high, I cannot open the cabinet,” JARVIS said from one of his speakers. Tony groaned.

“Steve, light of my life, please get Jarvis to give me my whiskey,” Tony turned to the man and was hit by the full force of the Disapproving Frown™.

But before Steve could answer the elevator doors opened again to admit Natasha, Clint, Pepper and Bucky. That must have been a fun ride.

Tony looked at them with consideration. Pepper despised his drinking. Natasha wouldn’t cross Pepper. Clint wouldn’t cross Natasha or Pepper.

“J- Bucky, would you be so kind to get me a whiskey bottle?” Tony asked, putting on his most charming smile and adjusting his body language accordingly.

Bucky only shook his head at him. “I don’t think so. You’re already more drunk than you should be for this conversation.”

Tony pouted. “You’re all party poopers.” Oh damn, maybe Bucky was right. That sounded way too childish. Ts, ts, what would Howard say?

Pepper jumped in before he could say much more. “We’ll leave you for a moment. I expect you two to talk, if you don’t I’ll sic Jarvis on you.”

Tony narrowed his eyes at her retreating back, but he gave in and plopped down on the couch. Ugh, nausea and headache. He was getting too old for this.

“Natasha…she told me a few things,” Bucky started, sitting down on the other end of the couch hesitantly. He pulled out the hair tie that kept his bun on the top his head and brushed his hair back with a gesture that shouldn’t be so hot on the man who killed Tony’s parents. Focus, Stark!

“And what pray tell?” Tony asked acerbically to mask his stupid attraction to this stupid, good-looking man.

Bucky started to fiddle with the cufflink on his right sleeve. There were speckles of blood on the white shirt. “She told me I killed your parents. She told me Hydra kidnapped, held and tortured you for three months. She told me you remember.”

Tony watched as Bucky removed the cufflinks from his sleeves and put them on the table. The blood on the right one had dried and made it look like it was made entirely of blood.

“I…I won’t pretend to remember,” Bucky whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion that Tony couldn’t quite decipher. “A lot of what happened never returned to me. Doctors’ said I’m lucky there is no permanent damage to my short-time memory.”

“How?” Tony’s voice was unsteady, it sounded like he had cried. Which he hadn’t.

“Drugs,” Bucky shrugged. “God knows what Zola came up with. He’s too dead to tell us.”

“Steve killed him,” Tony said quietly. He was surprised at himself giving up that tidbit of information. “Zola refused to tell him where you were. It was after the first time you fought him.”

Bucky swallowed heavily. “How often…How often did I land Stevie in the hospital? Natasha wouldn’t tell me.”

Tony looked at him, his thoughts slowly clearing up again as the alcohol left his blood. “Four times. One…One time you nearly killed him.”

Tony did not miss how Bucky’s jaw clenched, or how he reached for the cufflink. So he decided to speak on. “It only made him more determined to get you back. He tried to swear us all to secrecy on it. But I think you deserve to know.”

“I’m sorry they made me kill your parents,” Bucky whispered, so quiet Tony barely heard him. “I’m sorry I don’t remember. I’m sorry that you had to…to survive them.”

Tony looked at the man. He took in the shaking hands, one still wrapped in gauze from where he had pushed the cufflink into his palm. The tension all over Bucky’s body, but mostly in his jaw. He got what Steve had meant with his worry that Bucky would break it one day. Tony looked at the one visible tattoo on Bucky’s arm.

‘I am Bucky.’ was written in an easily readable script and under it ‘Я Баки.’ in Cyrillic. No sane man would write that on his skin. Tony’s hand wandered to his own tattoo at the same part of his body. He didn’t have to read it to know what it said. ‘Survived.’

“You did too, survive them I mean” Tony said, realizing that the silence had dragged on a bit too long. “I accept your apology. Might take a bit to deal with it though.”

Bucky nodded. “I understand. I will try to…” he trailed off, clearly not knowing what he should try to do.

Tony waved his hand and pretended not to see Bucky’s flinch. Fuck. “Don’t worry about it, I understand too. By the way…do you still want to know how Steve became the Captain?”

Bucky snorted. “The way my brain’s buzzing already? Nah, maybe another time.”

That startled a laugh out of Tony. “Alright, Frosty.”

They fell silent for long minutes, Tony concentrating on not gazing longingly at the liquor cabinet. Finally Bucky spoke up again.

“I had a good evening though, before all this shit,” he said quietly, playing with the bloody cufflink. “I did not expect you to be so good at subtlety.”

Tony grinned. “Please, subtlety is my middle name. How do you think I manage a syndicate _and_ an upper five-thousand company?”

Bucky smiled. It was a small, barely there thing, but Tony would take it. “I thought Miss Potts was the CEO of Stark Industries nowadays. It made quite the waves in the financial sector of what I’ve heard.”

“Yes, but as she likes to remind me, I’m still the one whose name is printed on the top of the legal documents,” Tony said with a theatrical sigh. “If it was my decision I’d stay in my workshop all day and ignore everyone else.”

Bucky laughed drily. “Sounds really good. Especially if Steve’s nagging me to be social again.”

“He’s awful like that,” Tony said, nodding sagely. “Always insisting I should eat more. I do eat! Cereal bars do count!”

Bucky snorted. “They really don’t. Try those stupid power shakes, he’ll shut up for a bit.”

“No, too much danger of me swiping them off the table and onto one of my precious babies.”

“Well, then you’ll just have to suffer through it, I guess,” Bucky said with a cheeky wink at Tony.

Tony of course reacted very maturely, sticking his tongue out at Bucky. If the twitching corners of his lips, his very beautiful, plush, rose lips that looked soft enough- focus!

“Sorry, got distracted a bit, what did you say?” Tony said, hoping that Bucky would attribute his blush to something else, anything else really!

“Ah, no, forget it, it was stupid anyway,” Bucky waved whatever he had said away. He looked over at Tony. “I, ah, probably should get going.”

“Stay, please,” Tony found himself saying before his brain caught up with him. “I mean…I’m pretty certain that we caused enough of a scene that you were actually recognized by a few of your old buddies. Wouldn’t want them to try anything on the Captain’s best friend tonight.”

Dry humor flitted over Bucky’s face. “Steve would probably kill me if I got myself captured.”

“Oh, definitely, at least after he dragged your ass out once again,” Tony said lightly, but he regretted his words immediately when Bucky flinched.

“I can’t put him through that again,” he whispered, clearly pained.

“Then stay here tonight,” Tony said, trying to sound calming. Not exactly his forte admittedly. “Let’s order pizza and watch an unrealistic action movie.”

* * *

 

**Epilogue**

“Barnes, if you don’t stop fidgeting I will cut your fingers off. One by one,” Natasha hissed. “I don’t like this anymore than you do!”

Bucky sighed and tried to still his hand against his thigh. Natasha was right of course, he couldn’t give himself away before Tony stepped into the room proper. As much as Tony was still a civilian, he was a civilian with very keen senses. And the birthday decoration couldn’t be more conspicuous.

In the one and a half years since Bucky had joined Tony’s and Steve’s crew to fight Hydra he had learned never to underestimate the mechanic.

Once Bucky had anxiously stormed a room Tony was held in, only to discover the man already on his way out. The goons had been largely out of commission and Tony had cooed at him for worrying.

And then there was that time were Tony managed to get out of the range of an explosion by as of yet undiscovered means. Bucky had been worried sick about him until he turned up at Headquarters, lightly scorched and a big grin on his stupid, pretty face.

Generally Bucky and Tony had a bad track record when it came to planning things. On their first date half a year ago (on the anniversary of their first meeting) they had been caught up in a shoot-out between to rivaling gangs who didn’t even realize who they were shooting at.

The second date a month after that had been cancelled for a raid on a Hydra transport, which was quite successful. 

Tony had to pull Bucky out of a bad panic attack during their third date, because Bucky had had a bad day but had insisted that they could totally go to Coney Island.

After that they had stopped trying for planned dates.

“Iron Man incoming,” Steve’s voice crackled through Bucky’s earpiece. “Everyone on their station?”

“Copy, position confirmed,” Bucky whispered and heard Natasha do the same on the other side of the elevator doors.

A few seconds later said doors opened soundlessly and Tony stepped through with Pepper on his heels. The moment Tony came to stand just inside the room Bucky and Natasha pulled out the streamers and let them fly over Tony while joining in the chorus of ‘Happy Birthday Tony!’

It really went to show how far Tony had come that he barely flinched and actually grinned at the surprise.

The whole crew left their hiding places and converged on Tony to congratulate him. Bucky let them, the best always came last, right?

When Tony finally turned to him, he was grinning broadly. “This was your idea, wasn’t it?”

“Yup,” Bucky said proudly, a answering grin on his face. “D’you like it doll?”

“It’s the best!” Tony said with delight shining in his eyes and Bucky couldn’t help himself. He had to step closer and pull the smaller man against his chest.

Tony’s lips found his to the cheers of their friends and they kept it brief for their sake.

“Happy birthday, love,” Bucky whispered, gently brushing the pad of his thumb over Tony’s cheek.

“Best present ever,” Tony replied just as quietly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”


End file.
